Venus in Leo.

Apparently I am proud and boastful in love.
“Because love doesn’t come easy.”

Apparently I am controlling in love.
“Because I don’t want myself or others to ruin it.”

I will go crazy next to you.
I will carry you through your dreams.
I will help you up when you are unwell.
I will offer a shoulder no matter how far apart we are; just tell me and I will take a space shuttle over – I won’t let you be by yourself.

Dreams

So why did you let me be.

I was happy when you said that I was soft.
No one would say that about me. “You’re strong, you’re good, you’re brave,”
I thought you saw through some onion.

You didn’t.

Is there no way out but pills and induced sleep

I don’t think anyone understands how it feels like to not be able to speak to your family or the people you live with in a supposed home away from home
To my dad: I’m okay, colleagues have been nice.
Dad: Have you been talking to them?
Me: Don’t worry, it’s okay. I’m used to it.

Landlady: I’ve cooked soup, come have some.
Me: (Not part of it) (So I went to shower)
Housemate#1: Whoa soup is good. I’m hungry, nice.
Housemate#2: YAYYY Thank you.
Me: (Getting ready to go out)

Landlady: Let’s go to JB.
Me: (On my laptop doing work)
Housemate#1: Okay let’s go!
Housemate#2: Help me buy etc etc.
Me: (Going to sleep before things feel awkward).

Have you been treated as if invisible in a place you live?
Have you had to swallow your sadness because you have no pride left?

I know I’m untouchable when I cut myself and no one can be responsible for it.

 

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